My Living Will - Courtesy of Maxine!

As you may know I am an Attorney. A friend sent this to me a month or so ago and I just got around to looking at the email yesterday. It so happened I was preparing Living Wills for some clients and this sure perked up my day! I had to share the smile. I have made a few revisions, noted in red, to personalize this for me! *GRIN*

I,  MAXINE MARTHA,  being of sound mind and body, (ya think?)
 do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands
of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology
if their lives depended on it,
or lawyers and doctors interested in simply
running up the bills (yours truly excluded).
If a reasonable amount of time passes 
and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Sex
Chocolate Martini
Cold Beer Books
Chocolate
Sex
Chicken fried steak
Cream Gravy Audio Books
Chocolate
Mexican Food
Chocolate
French Fries
Sex
Chocolate
Pizza
Chocolate Butter Pecan Ice Cream
Cup of Tea
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate
Kindle with Books 

 It should be presumed that I won't ever get better.  
When such a determination is reached, 
I hereby instruct my appointed person 
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the
tubes and call it a day.

Have a Happy Tuesday!